The 100/100 Assessment

Where are you on the Mattering Map?

Most people assume successful relationships should be 50/50 — you bring half, the other person brings the other half. The Mattering reframe challenges this idea and raises your own bar to 100 and calls on the other person to also bring 100. The following eight questions will assess how close you come to this desired goal. Four are about the 100 you should bring, while the other four are about the 100 the other person or your environment should bring.

Part One — What You Bring

Internal self-talk

1) How does the voice in my head usually sound?

Self-efficacy

2) What is the gap between my intentions and what I actually do?

Confidence in relationships

3) What happens when my needs collide with someone else’s?

Beliefs about what is possible

4) When I think about the next chapter of my life, which story is more likely?

Part Two — What Others Return

Significance — feeling seen

5) Do the people closest to me actually see me?

Appreciation — feeling valued

6) How is my contribution received in the rooms that matter?

Investment — feeling supported

7) When I am struggling, what actually happens?

Dependence — feeling needed

8) If I were not around tomorrow, what would shift?

One last reflection

Which of these is closest to how you actually feel?